La rumba de los infieles

viernes, 20 de febrero de 2009

No conozco ningún hombre que haya sido fiel. No conozco ni tengo, ni sé de ningún amigo que al menos una vez en la vida NO haya cometido un acto de infidelidad. Conozco muchos hombres casados fieles. Pero novios, o casi novios fieles…. NINGUNO. Talvez un par de nerds aburridos, pero tan solo talvez… Porque pasa esto? Será que finalmente expira como la cruel verdad la frase: “TODOS SON IGUALES” ¿Existen los hombres fieles?

Primero vamos a dejar del lado al mujeriego, claro, off course!! Dejaremos de lado al MUJERIEGO MACHISTA al cual la sexualidad lo supera, ese que no pierde el tiempo de domingos de futbol con mates y charlas femeninas, que no le interesa salir a comer los miércoles a la noche con personas del sexo opuesto con las cuales no va a tener sexo.

Sabado por la noche: perfecto, peinado, perfumado y arreglado deja en casa a Maria Antonieta viendo el Primetime de Utilísima Satelital y sale a cumplir la misión para la que fue programada su neurona pitutearesca durante mil quinientos millones de años de evolución:

salir el sabado y garcharse una puta!.


el adicto sexualmente irrecuperable que como el Maradona del 94 y con el doping positivo sobre la mesa mira a su esposa y suplica: “perdona mi amor….. me cortaron las piernas”.

Yo no quiero hablar del mujeriego, quiero hablar del hombre normal que se ve tentado por el sexo opuesto.

De pendejo tenía una vecina que me suplicaba para venir a mi pileta. Yo nunca quería, era fea? Mala? Tonta? Nada de eso: era genial y PRECIOSA. Cada vez que entraba a mi pileta en bikini sacaba a relucir su belleza. En el momento que su toalla tocaba el piso, su bikini me perforaba la neurona machimental, su piel relucía con reflejos estelares del agua con el sol de mañana veranil y su nalguitas eran imposibles de no mirar….

- ¿Valen me estas mirando el culo?

- Noooooo, nada que ver. (Respondía.)

Aunque hacia mi mayor esfuerzo… no era suficiente, mis ojos se movían hacia ese sector. Sépanlo: ESTAMOS PROGRAMADOS PARA MIRARLES EL CULO.
Con mí vecina sabía 2 cosas: UNO, tenía un culo genial, DOS, no tenía ninguna chance, por eso tenerla cerca ERA INHUMANO. Insalubre. Como desear un helado todo el día y no poder tomarlo…

Cuando me llamaba para venir a la pileta nunca pude decirle la respuesta perfecta para ella:

“Mi vida, si en mi pileta no vamos a garchar... quedate en tu casa, sos maniáticamente insana para mi!!!”

Cada viernes o sábado a la noche sufrimos un padecer similar al de la vecinita de la pileta, cada día de semana con la compañera de oficina, con la compañera universitaria, día a día, TOLERAMOS esta tentación. Y no siempre pasa que la compañera de oficina, facultad, vecinita, no se fija en nosotros; es entonces cuando la mas terrible de las acciones sucede: INFIDELIDAD.

Creo que talvez por eso somos un poco más infieles que las mujeres (apenas un poco):

Los hombres somos infieles porque nos calienta TANTO el aspecto visual femenino, como acariciarnos con una mujer. VA DE NUEVO, Nos calienta igualmente una mujer ya sea por VERLA o TOCARLA.

Yo se, las mujeres también son visualmente atraídas por los hombres; pero no me vengan con boludeces, no les pasa lo mismo que a nosotros. A nosotros nos excita, nos calienta, nos supera. Por eso existe el porno para hombres y CASI no existe para mujeres, por eso los hombres no salimos de pantaloncitos cortos ajustados. No se lo nieguen, acepten la cruel realidad! Día a día padecen su propia desgracia, mueren POR MORDER SU PROPIA MANZANA.

Lo dije mil veces y lo repito, la jirafa evoluciono mil millones de años para tener el cuello largo y poder comer del árbol. Nosotros, los hombres, evolucionamos el mismo tiempo PARA PODER MIRARLES EL CULO a las mujeres.

Dame play ES MUY importante, DAME PLAY


Cada una de nuestras noches o días previos a la infidelidad comienza como un hermoso tema lento…
Mientras “Clocks” suena y el “clock” pasa tenemos delante de nosotros a la mujer que nos gusta, vestida de alguna manera SENSUALMENTE muy fina, GENIAL hermosa y sexualmente MUY ATRACTIVA. Acaso nosotros tenemos que comernos 4 horas de eso? Acaso debemos padecer ese sufrimiento?


No siempre se soporta!

Y entonces el Clocks de Coldplay comienza a volverse rumba, o talvez siempre lo fue…

¿Las mujeres entienden el sufrimiento?,


¿Las mujeres podrían soportar a un hombre atractivo toda la noche besándoles el cuello?

y con un poco de tentacion y un poco de alcohol talvez, nuestra noche de sábado, nuestra oficina, o nuestra hora de estudio termina convirtiéndose en rumba y una vez mas padecemos el acoso femenino, mejor dicho...

SOMOS VICTIMAS

…de la rumba de los infieles.

279 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Por eso no tengo novio...

jaja manga de infieles!!!, sabias que esta comprobado cientificamente que los hombres ven como objetos a las mujeres cuando estan en bikini??, yo digo que siempre...pero bueno.

Santa C!

Anónimo dijo...

o sea se les activa la parte de ' esto es un objeto ', entonces pregunto yo...digo..no?..PARA QUE SE PONEN DE NOVIOS!! SIGAN YIRANDO NO MAS...asi nadie sufre. Yo de nuevo.

Ganesha dijo...

genial! casi que me sentí conmovida por esta terrible tragedia que les ocurre a los hombres con las mujeres.
igual, tu vecina... una guacha! seguro que te lo hacía a propósito.

huellas compartidas dijo...

Totalmente de acuerdo... no pueden dejar de mirarnos el traste !!!
Que onda ?? La verdad que no lo entiendo...
Y cuando te vas a laburar o a la facu, medio escotadita, es impresionante como se les van los ojitos...

La verdad chicos, mi más sentido pésame, peeero... de la infidelidad no se vuelve... es un camino de ida, una vez que aprendiste como hacerlo... listo !

Por lo menos, así lo veo yo

Besooos

LHEONNEL dijo...

LOCO, BIEN AHI, POR FIN UN BUEN POST VALENTINEZCOOOOO, ES ASIIIII", mueren POR MORDER SU PROPIA MANZANA" Y NO LO QUIEREN RECONOCER!! Y LA DE ARRIBA QUE SE QUEJA PORQUE LA MIRAN, SI SE VISTEN, MEJOR DICHO, SE DESVISTEN PARA QUE LAS MIREN, LES GUSTA SER MIRADAS, DESEADAS, TIENEN ESE MONSTRUO EGOCENTRICO CONSUMISTA SEXUALMENTE PROVOCADOR A NUESTROS SENTIDOS!!! Y NO LO QUIEREN RECONOCER. LOCO , PARECE QUE LA LEY ES " SÉ INFIEL,ANTES DE QUE ELLA TE SEA INFIEL" , PORQUE CONVENGAMOS QUE LA INFIDELIDAD NO ES SOLO COSAS DE HOMBRES. AGUANTE EL HAPPY HOUR Y EL TOUCH AND GO CARAJO!!

PD:Huellas compartidas, me mató tu espalda :$

Cielo Violeta. dijo...

Pooobres ustedes, la verdad es que tenés razón!
jajajaja.

Muy bueno el post, y muy real.

Che, el día que te pongas de novio vas a tener que borrar este post!

Cielo Violeta. dijo...

Pooobres ustedes, la verdad es que tenés razón!
jajajaja.

Muy bueno el post, y muy real.

Che, el día que te pongas de novio vas a tener que borrar este post!

Valentin dijo...

conti: nos ponemos de novio para ser infieles!!

gane: ahora que lo pienso ytalvez lo hacia aproposito

huellas: huuuuuuuu me olvide del escoteeeee

lehonel: viste!! es asi!! thanks

cieclo violeta: naaaaaaaaaaa si yo ya soy fiel. =p

pillow of winds dijo...

Lo que me pregunto es ¿para qué ponerse de novio? ¿por qué no estar libre para poder aprovechar cada oportunidad que se dé?

Me parece que es más honesto a la naturaleza humana.

Valentin dijo...

es que el hombre se enamora.... es asi

Anoia dijo...

Que tortura, por Dios!
Igual, no sé si es taaan así; yo tengo la teoría de que las mujeres son igualmente infieles, pero son más zorras.
BTW, sos de las pocas personas que conozco (aunque no personalmente) que van por la teoría de Lamarck, muy raro.

Besos!

Cherry Lips dijo...

Ay ay ay, que te puedo decir !!! De la muerte y de los cuernos nadie se salva, a veces es más fácil no engañar o ser engañados si se esta realmente enamorado. Pero lo realmente importante es que no se anden con rodeos y se cague sistemáticamente a la pareja.

Yo por lo menos trato de no estar con pibes con novias, menos casado y con hijos para ayudar a que haya menos cuernos en el mundo ja :P

Valentin dijo...

anoia googliando teoria de Lamarck.... me mataste..... gooooooglingggggggggggggg

Valentin dijo...

cherry eso es importante!! no te metas con otras parejas.... ademas HAY MUCHOS HOMBRES!!!

me encanto el "por lo menos trato..." ajajjaj

Anónimo dijo...

INFIEL INFIEL INFIEL !!!!

NO AL NOVIAZGO SI AL TOUCH AND GO!

Firma: ya sabes jajaja

Valentin dijo...

jaajjaja no soy infieeeeeeeeeeeeeeel!!!


dejen de llamarme asi!!

E1000luz dijo...

Esto me suena es pura excusa... y
confirma mas aun mi teoria: son todos iguales....

Creo que me voy a comprar una poltrona mas grande, asi sigo esperando sentada a que aparezca uno qeu valga la pena...

BEsos.-

Valentin dijo...

jajajajja emiiiiiiiii!!!

los hombres somos victimaaaaaaaaaas!!!

E1000luz dijo...

Victimas???!!!!!
Andá....!!! Esa es una mera excusa para librarse de todo compromiso...

Me pregunto si la actitud de las mujers fuera la misma.... que opinarian...?

BEsos.-

Valentin dijo...

udes nunca podrian tener la misma aptitud porque no son atraidos sexualemtne como nsotors....


NUNCA!!

por eso no nos entienden

Berenizz dijo...

Uf, muy buen post. Muy revelador la verdá, jajaja.

Pero, por supuesto, no creo que se aplique a todos los casos. Como decís vos, los hombres tienden a ser infieles por una cuestión de deseo sexual. Las mujeres, que también son infieles no santas, tienden a serlo por cuestiones de venganza, deseo, egocentrismo, vanidad, orgullo, etc. Lo cual, a mi parecer, es mucho peor que un simple desliz, es como más dañino.

Una vez más, muy buen post. Y esa vecinita estaba pasada de atorranta! jaja.

Saludos!

LuLú dijo...

Ayyyyy pobrecitos ellos que son unas pobres victimas de nuestros encantos y no pueden resistir la tentación!
¿Puedo abrir un grupo en el facebook con tu post así empiezo una movida para que de ahora en más salgamos todas las chicas vestidas con sotanas así no sufren tanto??
Como no tengo novio me gustó tu teoría, está muy bien fundada y es prácticamente irrefutable, pero si lo pienso como mujer es para putearte en chino jajajaja

Anita dijo...

viSte LA pRopAgaNDa D sPrtE ZERO.. Las mUjeres NOS cuIDAmos pAra Q tODOS noS vEAn pasar..

cUANDo PASAS al LaDO d un gRUpiTO d JOvENES, aDOLesentes, VIeJs, ExtrAtERREstres.. pASAS ya Pensando en Q t VAn a DcIR aLGUNa GUarANgada... y cOMO NOs OfEnDEmos..

pERo T aSEgUrO q T OfENdeS mas Ssi NO T dIceN nAdaaa

jajaj

AGuanTe el NO al COmPROmISOO JJA

Mariana Maulu dijo...

Buen post... pa bailar la rumba hay que tener cintura y esta parte coporea es netamente femenina. algunos hombres no saben disimular el llamado interes sessuuaal.

Olivia dijo...

pero vos estas de novio ahora??

Valentin dijo...

olivia.... noooooooo nooooooooo...... y no soy una persona infiel. solo explico lo que pasa.... estoy solo.

Valentin dijo...

Berenizz: nooo noera atorranta... venia atomar sol y estba abuena, solo eso, gracias por lod ebuen post =(

lulu: y siiiiii somos pRobRecitRos!

anita:Si sE pOnEn LinDa PAra Eso MeCOsTo hRRor leerTe =P CUACK!

mariana: vos sos rumbera?

Anónimo dijo...

la verdad que muy buen post...obviamente parcial parcializado, sos hombre y justificas a tu grupo ja ja ja

Mariana Maulu dijo...

Por qué? querés bailar? rumbera era Celia Cruz, azúcarrrrr

Valentin dijo...

ajjajja.....

Anónimo dijo...

Valentin...
Hoy conoci tu blog, y si, sos un hOmbre mas del monton, pero lo reconozco: CON MUY BUEN SENTIDO DEL HUMOR.
Te estoy leyendo,
L.

Valentin dijo...

de ninguna manera YO Zoy Ezpezial!! como dice Rafa gorgori!!!

Ana Clara dijo...

Jajaja al principio el post me dio bronca pero después de leer los comentarios, lástima! Vos venis con toda tu sinceridad, las comentaristas femeninas te matan y la última la remató con "hombre del montón" ajaja :P

Y capaz es como decís, pero cuando son TAN concientes de lo que les puede pasar y sin embargo les pasa, no da para andar con excusas!

Saludos Valentín!

LUZ dijo...

Chee rumbero infiel!! esa justificacion de que los hombres son victimas es puro chamullo. jej un beso

Anónimo dijo...

Acabo de leer que vivimos en el mismo lugar, y me lleva a pensar que tal vez nos cruzamos mas de una vez, o que nos vamos a cruzar hoy, o mañana. Hoy, por ejemplo me voy a ver una banda de jazz en una plaza. Capaz que nos conocemos y todo, y no sabemos que nosotros somos nosotros.

Valentin dijo...

Ana Clara: si me mamatan yo vengo a ponerle onday mira como termino

LUZ: luz ya charlamos acerca de esto... asi que no quiero mas peleas

Anónimo: ahhh mira que lindo no sabia que habia.... escribime al email

Valentin dijo...

y no soy infieeeeeeeeeeeeeel!!!!!!!!!

Bonny Blue dijo...

A quién corresponda: "nadie queda exento de la infidelidad". "SI EVA TENTO A ADAN CON EL FRUTO PROHIBIDO" ¿qué más podemos hacer si no es morderlo? Justificarse de una u otra manera es una pruba más que confirma la naturaleza genérica de la cual provenimos. Las publicidades de Sprit y su apologia de "las cosas como son", no son una respuesta mi estimada Anita. AHI SOLO HAY FALTA DE CREATIVIDAD. Valentín: ¿Te han llamado infiel o lo han querido llevar a ese contexto? Yo no creo que seas infiel, Jajaja..! ES MAS, EN TU POST SE REVELA TU FIDELIDAD, COMPROMISO, COMPAÑERISMO Y HASTA TU SOLIDARIDAD HACIA EL GENERO MASCULINO (LAS VICTIMAS DE ESTA HISTORIETA DE HORROR). Pero hay algo que va para todos los VICTIMIZADOS que respondieron a tu post...
"LAS MUJERES DEJAN DE ABURRIRSE EN CUANTO TIENEN A UN HOMBRE RENDIDO A SUS PIES"... Frederich Niesztche lo dijo, y es hombre. Tal vez y despues de todo hay algo de crueldad y perversión en las mujeres para con ustedes.
¿SERÁ POR ESO QUE CADA VEZ MÁS HOMBRES SE TRASLADAN HACIA LA MEJOR MANADA? Somos irresistibles, el fruto prohibido de su Género.

Un besote.

Nanys dijo...

Genial!!!

sobre todo el detalle musical..

Anónimo dijo...

HABLA LA NOVIA DEL RUMBERO, CON LAS MANOS EN AGARRANDOME LA CABEZA, PENSANDO EN Q LA COMPAÑERITA DEL TRABAJO, VECINITA, CHICA DEL BOLICHE, LO SEDUZCA CON SU BELLEZA Y EL POBRE VICTIMA NO PUEDA RESISTIR SUS ENCANTOS...ESPERO Q EN ESE MOMENTO SE LE PASE MI NOMBRE POR LA CABEZA, MI ROSTRO... QUE TRISTE TENER QUE PENSAR EN ESTAS COSAS, EN QUE PODEMOS SALIR LASTIMADOS, DEFRAUDADOS, DEVASTADOS, Y TODO POR UN FUCKIN CULO, POR UN CULO HERMANAS MIAS...VIVIMOS EN UNA SOCIEDAD DONDE TODO EL TIEMPO NOS VENDEN SEXO, EN UNA SOCIEDAD CARENTE DE ESPIRITUALIDAD Y COMPROMISO, YA NADIE CREE EN EL AMOR VERDADERO, EN EL " HASTA QUE LA MUERTE LOS SEPARE". TODOS VIVEN EL AHORA, EL PRESENTE, EL YA MISMO, SI TOTAL, QUIZAS MAÑANA ME MUERO DE UNA SOBREDOSIS, UN COMA ALCOHOLICO, O ME MATAN EN LA CALLE POR DOS PESOS. QUE MAL ESTAMOS!!!! LA PASEMOS BOMBA TOTAL NO SABEMOS SI MAÑANA ESTAMOS VIVOS...

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